Why Closet Dork?

Originally from Urban Dictionary, but edited in places.

1: Closet dork
A closet dork is someone who is socially accepted; however, when they are out of the public eye they conduct activities one would consider unpopular. Public eye meaning anyone who is socially accepted. The closet dork may still associate with other dorks behind closed doors and even in open doors as they now have no shame of who they are and what activities they may participate that are considered out of the norm.

Closet dorks do not fit the stereotypical “look” of a dork, nerd, geek, etc. They generally are able to fit into any “group” of people. Ways to discover if someone is a Closet Dork may be the usage of vocabulary that your ordinary social butterfly may not understand or Dungeon and Dragons books mysteriously observed sitting around in their residence.

Pre-coming out of the Closet Dork
Popular Crowd Friend: Hey, you chillin’ with us tonight? Movies?
Closet Dork: Sorry guys, I’d come out with you tonight but I have to take this one girl I just met to the movies. Maybe I’ll join you after?
Popular crowd friend: Oh okay. We’ll see you later.
Closet Dorks Inner Monologue: Okay, so raid ends at 9pm. I’ll join my friends with cute girl at 9:30 and we’ll all go to the movies. Perfect plan.

Post-coming out of the Closet Dork
Popular Crowd Friend: Hey, you chillin’ with us tonight? Movies?
Closet Dork: Sorry guys, I have raid until 9pm. I’ll join you all afterwards to do the damn thing.
Popular Crowd Friend: *sigh* You and your video games.
Closet Dork: Yeah, pretend that in this day and age you don’t play a SINGLE video game. I dare you to tell that lie!
Popular Crowd Friend: (crickets)(tumbleweed)(silence) See you at 9:30 or so?
Closet Dork: Deal!

Some of the following qualities usually can be applied to the Closet Dork:
Definitely pwns noobs in video games, plays video games, plays at least one sport that requires physical activity and pwns noobs in it, reads “real” books, makes conversation that that people can relate to, has their own stories to tell as opposed to other people’s stories/made up ones, can talk about good movies/games, can talk about sports/knows the rules and previously was embarassed of Closet Dorkiness (TM), but now embraces it as a second skin.

Is this you?

  • You may use these HTML tags: <a> <abbr> <acronym> <b> <blockquote> <cite> <code> <del> <em> <i> <q> <strike> <strong>

    Current day month ye@r *

  • Comment Feed for this Post
Go to Top